Comedy Nights with Kapil 3rd May 2014 – Written Update with Vivek Oberoi


Comedy Nights With Kapil

Guests on the show: Bollywood Actor and Superstar – Vivek Oberoi; and Bollywood actor Saqib Saleem (along with Hawaa Hawaai Team)

Kapil starts the show and speaks with Siddhu that in his locality annual function is taking place but he doesn’t know. He tells the main attraction in such events are drunkard people. He tells about rich people party and shows the behavior of people in those rich class and compares with middle-class people’s party. He tells that the drunkard person is clearly identified in the neighborhood. Kapil then speaks on how rich people behave and speak when they go out to restaurants. He cracks jokes on their behavior with waiters there. He tells how common people eat at those functions where they eat many dishes at once and also including sweets like Rasgulla and Gulab Jamun in the same plate.

He tells that there are some some traits to identify the background of people like – If sweets are there in plenty – Gujarati marriage, Tandoor – North Indian people. He also speaks on utensils in rich people’s party and again compares with the middle-class people’s utensils. He says that utensils of rich people always shine.

Kapil asks audience opinion about parties for celebration and they can give either good or bad opinions.

Audience: says that in party’s he does not like food remaining at the end of the party. Kapil cracks jokes on his fat belly. The audience wishes Kapil the best for his show.

A girl – Sheetal speaks that rich people’s aim is to give a big party and show pomp. She argues that instead of wasting money in that way they can help some poor people. Kapil says that her thought is good and hopefully nobody will be poor. Sheetal says that some people go and does expensive marriage in cruise ships. Kapil cracks jokes on Phupha Ji and whale related to that context.

Kapil says that rich mothers are more concerned for Shagun (wedding gift) and wants their kids to eat more as they have given good money as Shagun. He then compares rich people’s kid vs common people’s kid where the rich kid asks directly what he wants from his parents while the middle-class kid shows some signs for asking but doesn’t ask directly.

He tells that kids are the form of God and we need to work with them by showing Patience. After that, some kids come in on a skateboard and when Bittu warns them they call more kids. The kids wants Rasgulla as they are guests on Bittu’s home. Bittu asks them if he puts black stone in water what will happen – Bittu says the stone will be drowned invoking a laughter.

Saqib Saleem comes in and says that why Bittu is troubling the kids. Saqib cracks a joke on Kapil. Raju comes in and says that Saqib teaches kids skating. Bittu says that there is an annual function in his locality and asks Saqib to teach him Skating. Saqib says that it takes time to learn Skating. Saqib then tells the reason and says that his movie Hawaa Hawaii releases on 9th May where Saqib will fulfill the kid Arjun’s wish. The Hawaa Hawaaii team dances on a song – Ghoom gaye..Saqib leaves with the team.

Bittu speaks with Siddhu and talks on his locality’s annual function which will take place the same day. And the winner will get 11,000 INR and then taunts that there are only old men in his locality so those people chance of winning is small. Lala and Chaddha comes in and Bittu wants Lala to recharge for 30 INR mobile and then take money collectively later. Lala responds that Bittu and his family collectively go to bathroom when they are asked money by people to whom they owe the money. Chaddha says that Bittu’s family is not allowed in the annual function as after seeing his family past actions the neighbors have decided to boycott them. Lala and Chaddha taunts and teases Bittu further more. Bittu says that the main reason for not inviting them amounts to the fact that they won 80% of all the games last year.

Lala says he is strong and then falls down on Chaddha (invoking laughter). Lala says that even Palak is with them on their quest to win and warns Bittu that if he loses then he needs to leave the neighborhood while they will win the prize of 11,000 INR. After that, Lala and Chaddha leaves.

Once they leave, Bittu says that he is not afraid of anybody in his neighborhood and even he can tackle Spiderman easily as well. At that same moment, Daadi comes in wearing a spider-man costume and she acts like Spider Daadi (Mrs. Spiderman).

Kapil and Vivek

Vivek comes in by running and says that he was running because Daadi stole Spiderman’s costume and because of this his shooting on the set of Spiderman stopped. Bittu then identifies the Mrs. Spiderman as Daadi. Daadi then asks Vivek did he forget her ? She tells that she taught Vivek’s father how to deliver his dialogue. Daadi says that Vivek has done dubbing for somebody’s else and Daadi is being blamed for wearing only spiderman’s costume. Bittu cracks a joke on Daadi and teases on her cleanliness. Daadi says that she is a Sanskaari Spiderman (Spiderman with great manners) and puts water in other’s home to bring hygiene. Bittu says that the spiderman sticks to wall but Daadi sticks to people and in order to take her away from men it takes 90 mins. Daadi tells that she will do the needful and approaches Vivek and then dances on the song – Yeh Hai Mumbai.. She then gives Vivek her trademark kiss (Shagun ki Pappi) and goes away.

Daadi kiss to Vivek

Bittu says that people are fans of his Suresh’s Oberoi voice. Vivek then calls Raju in Amitabh Bachchan Style and tells him to bring water in baritone voice. Raju then comes in and informs Vivek that he was always a fan of a Villain and he wants Vivek to teach how to act like a Villain. Vivek wants Raju to feel in Hollywood style. When Bittu suggest that make Raju like Angelina Jolie’s driver then Vivek replies that he will also be happy to become the driver for her. Vivek then teaches him the acting of Villain while he will do dubbing from behind. He wants Raju to feel very strong with eyes showing revenge for which Bittu responds that Raju is showing an expression of constipation. Raju starts to act with facial expression. Bittu then compares his face to the socks of actor Raza Murad. He wants Raju to forget about his work and act like a villain of a Spiderman movie. Vivek tells him to speak the dialogue and Raju enacts – Hi Darling, I will take you on a romantic date, we will have thin crust Pizza with little olives and chop-chop capsicum, you will love it (Raju makes fun in calling thin crust pizza, olives and capsicum). Vivek says that he has done so good that he should get an Oscar which is actually a taunt. After that, Raju then leaves from there.

Daadi - vivek - Kapil

Audience speaks:
Vijender: says that he saw Vivek’s movie – Shootout at Lokhandwala and Company. And he wants Vivek to take his audition for acting.
Kapil agrees and he invites others who also wants to give audition for Villain. Another men comes on the stage as well. Vivek says that the first quality of a villain is his laugh and tells them to show the laugh. Both audience imitates a laugh. The audience speaks with decency when he acts like a abductor/villain. Kapil cracks a joke on how he acted so positively for the role of a villain.

A women audience speaks that she is the biggest fan of Kapil. She then speaks that she is also a big fan of Vivek and cites Saathiya as her favorite movie. She asks if he has to do a romantic scene with some other women than his wife like her, then whether his wife minds or not ? Kapil speaks with her husband and shows respect as his wife speaks directly with Vivek on flirting. Vivek says that his wife doesn’t mind as it is only done on-screen. She then comes on the stage and dances with Vivek on the song – Saathiya sun kar hamne peele sari hasee.. from the movie Saathiya. Vivek also invites her husband on stage and the husband dances with Kapil and his wife. Kapil wishes the couple the best.

Audience says that his question is for Daadi.. Daadi then comes on the stage and the audience asks Daadi why does she drink so much alcohol. Daadi hesitantly says that she drinks because of helplessness and not for happiness. Audience speaks more on the ills of alcohol and her family’s reputation. Daadi says that she drinks from her own money and doesn’t want him to give her advice. The audience came from Pune.

Audience speaks very slowly his question and praises Vivek’s good acting skills and asks Vivek on his social activities. Vivek says that he works on helping Kids who are sold in Child Prostitution and their social scheme name is Project DEVI (Development and Empowerment of Vrindavan girls’ initiative). They started their campaign with 300-400 girls and now they support 3000 kids and help them with free education, free healthcare and food. He praises Kapil on his show. He also says that Kapil has promised him to have a separate show for children and cancer patients. The audience wants Kapil to insult him so that he will be happy. The audience insists Kapil to insult him.

Audience (Prakash Gidwani from Borivali ) speaks on Vivek’s movie – Grand Masti. He says that he has seen that movie 3 times. And wants to have some Grand Masti with Vivek on stage and they dance on the song – Grand Masti with Vivek. Kapil thanks Vivek for coming on the show and wishes him the best for Amazing Spiderman 2. Vivek then leaves.

Mrs Sharma comes in and Bittu speaks on the challenge given by his neighbors. He says that if they lose then they need to leave the locality. Bittu wants her to be on his side and then cracks joke on her lips. Mrs. Sharma speaks why did he took a challenge from them ? Bittu challenges anybody to win over him. Then, both fights on a petty matter from their marriage days. Mrs. Sharma becomes angry and leaves from there.

Bua comes in with Mrs. Sharma’s brother to help Bittu in his competition. Bittu asks him to give 500 INR so that he can prepare for the competition. After that, Palak comes in with Lala and Chaddha. Lala wants to first ask Bittu a general knowledge question. Bittu doesn’t understand what’s an GK is and says that he knows Daadi’s PK and also says that he has traveled his life in a general compartment. Lala wants Bittu to speak on Thirsty crow story. Bittu starts the story and mentions cow in place of crow and modifies the total story with crow. Chaddha says that does the cow came from India’s got talent. Palak says that Bittu’s essay is useless. Mrs. Sharma’s brother wants Palak to essay a fee waiver application. Bittu then cracks a joke on Palak. Bua then speaks on Dance competition and challenges Palak. Bua dances first and then Palak dances randomly with her clothes emitting light as well. Lala praises Palak and she responds that she was not dancing and actually she was getting electric shocks.

Finally, Palak wants to have a Kabbadi competition. Bittu responds that before playing Kabbadi first check your chaddi (inner wear) invoking a laughter. They play Kabbadi with Palak first starting and captures Mrs. Sharma brother. Palak then challenges Bittu who speaks very emotionally and in teary tone with Palak, Lala and Chaddha and it is actually a trap to capture them and hence wins the competition. Lala and Chaddha speaks that Bittu and his family will not get the prize of 11,000 INR as they always cheat with neighbors and hence need to compensate this time around. The show ends on that hilarious note.

Vivek has just finished dubbing in Hindi for Jamie Fox in the movie Amazing Spiderman 2. Stay tuned to Comedy Nights with Kapil on Colors, Sat-Sun at 10 PM IST.

Vivek’s Oberoi social participation project: Project DEVI website and Project Devi’s Facebook page

Images credit: Twitter page of Colors TV

Full Episode Video: