Guest on the show: Salim and Sulaiman Merchant (Salim–Sulaiman) – Music director, singer, record producer, instrumentalist, arranger, programmer. Other guests on the show are Rashami Desai with Rajiv Thakur, Jay Bhanushali with his wife Mahii Vij
Kapil starts the show and speaks to Siddhu that the person who told that guests are equivalent of God is right because when the guests come they will hold their hands up and fold. He speaks of different categories of guests like of rich people who will come only few times. They will say Mr Sharma please come to their party and asking him to not ditch them, more rich people have much creative cards and they wll have cute puppy pics as well. The middle class people cards have lot of info and has all the details of all relatives, RSVP, and many more, and in some space write – Meri Bua Ki Shaadi Mein Zaroor Aaana [Do not forget to come at my Aunt’s wedding]. Kapil then cracks a joke on Dinesh the guitarist and taunts about his neck and compares it with a crow’s one. He speaks of the problem where to give place for sleeping for the guests. Mostly, such decisions are taken by old lady who will inform the guests about the placement. There are some guests who come without informing/calling on phone and suggests that if they have done so then the relatives they are visiting will not be present. Some are very emotional and calls their mother after staying at their relatives’s place and speaks that doesn’t know how will he stay for 1 year. The relative/friend where he is staying wonders for how much time will he stay.
Comedy Gag: Sharma Guest House and Fun
Some guests doesn’t come with slippers and basic necessities and also children’s are advised while visiting to not lift things fallen on ground. Thus, when a child’s short falls down because of some reason he will not lift it since he remembers his elders saying him not to lift things fallen on ground. Kapil speaks of the middle class family more about the white dinner set only taken out when they are guests. There are some guests who comes and goes by giving money. Kapil speaks of opening a guest house (Sharma Guest House) and then comes Mrs. Sharma and speaks that where does she go if he opens the guest house (she calls herself as Ardhangini, Biwi..). Bitti speaks and jokes on her father’s relation with Sarpanch and then suggests that he was only crying after their marriage. She speaks of their privacy and he replies that there are 9 pigeons and 12 birds staying in their room and even the smallest pigeon calls him Chachu (uncle) and the bird’s child taunts on Mrs. Sharma. She wants that Bittu take care of her and speaks that she has grown up with much care in her family. Bittu makes more taunt on her behavior and she speaks of telling quotes and he replies whether Siddhu is being there for making Aadhar card. He wants her to take care since a buffalo might hit her and then refer to her and Buffalo as ladies. She leaves from there.
Raju comes there and speaks of not able to work there and Bittu speaks of giving him the job in the White house. Bittu then speaks of opening a guest house and taunts why would he take suggestion from Raju, Is he Ram jethmalani. Bittu wants Raju to keep a soap in every room in their house and makes him the manager. Bittu speaks that the manager has just to keep the guest about tea/coffee and also its not real since they shouldn’t get it since Bittu as receptionist will inform the manager that the tea for guest has a fly because of which they will not accept it. Raju speaks if they say yes to drink tea after knowing about fly. then Bittu makes a taunt those guests will be from his family then. Bittu wants Raju to enact a full drama and then Raju leaves from there.
Bittu speaks on phone while there are some people coming there wanting to stay in his guest house – Old man with his young wife (played by actors Rajiv thakur and Rashami Desai). Bittu was enacting on the phone that there are no rooms available and upon hearing it the old man wanted to leave and then falls down and is assisted by his young wife. She calls him Baabu but he is seen to tremble and not stand properly as well. Baabu the old man coughs and Bittu humorously speaks that he doesn’t know Russian. He replies it is cough and not Russian and bittu speaks for how many minutes he need. Bittu replies of giving the room for 3 days and asks him whether it can hold on for those 3 days. Raju comes there as a waiter in a black and white dress and the old man Baabu speaks of having tea and coffee and also informs Bittu that because of his age he need to boil and eat Banana as well. Bittu informs Raju that he will take juice and tea/coffee for them. He first threatens with high price for tea/coffee and then speaks about renting the room for 25,000 INR. He speaks of giving breakfast, and for lunch whatever remains from the breakfast, and in the dinner whatever remains from the lunch making Baabu puzzled and tries to go from there. Bittu calls the waiter cum manager Raju who informs the 300 rooms are packed and the guests are sleeping one over another and some of them in laps as well. Bittu informs the same to the old/young couple. Bittu wants Raju to give them the room no 329 which belongs to Ajay Devgn. Raju asks Bittu whether Daadi’s name is Ajay. Raju goes on to speak bad things about Daadi and then Bittu wants Raju to give them Mrs. Sharma (Manju’s) room. Raju takes them away.
Sooner then, Jay Bhanushali with his wife Mahii Vij comes there as guests and Kapil again plays the same old trick of speaking on phone and informing the caller on other end that there is no room even for Prime Minister (PM) or Chief Minister (CM). After hearing it, Mahii wants to go with her partner but stopped by Bittu who suggests whether they are PM or CM. Jay speaks that they are running to get married since his father is not happy and doesn’t believe in love then Bittu asks him whether he was born after a printout and not love. Bittu notes down their names and asks first Mahii her mobile number and then Jay asks why he didn’t asks his mobile no. Bittu replies why does he need his mobile no and then asks him to tell ? When Jay started speaking 98.. something bittu stops him and says enough invoking a laughter. He asks them what kind of room they need and the menu shows that for one night the rent is 15,000 INR. She asks him about the facilities and Jay speaks about air conditioner. Bittu speaks of giving a mint-wala Pan so that they can feel cold after drinking water with it. He then suggests them to share his room instead but he has one condition which is he will sleep in the middle between them and this is because he falls down when sleeps on side. Jay is amused and then Bittu asks them about the budget. Mahii speaks 8K INR and Jay speaks the same amount, then Bittu suggests that now the total amount is 16K INR though he was asking only 15K INR. Jay clarifies that 8K INR in total and then Bittu speaks 12K which would be fine for them and then Jay speaks that the deal is yours. Bittu then tries to take Mahii and Jay warns him what is he doing and informs him of speaking about the deal. Bittu replies that 8K is enough for the deal as they are good people. Bittu calls Raju and wants him to give room no 99 and Raju speaks that there old/young couple is sleeping. Bittu suggests that the couple will not see them since they are having poor eye sight while this new young couple are already blind in love so no issues. Bittu informs them that they have to sleep without opening the light and if they want to say anything/need in the middle of the night then they should not disturb Bittu and his family. They leave from there.
Jay and Mahii comes back and informs Bittu that they are already a old couple there. Raju comes there and cooks up a story that actually that couple is dead and their soul (Aatma) is there and Bittu suggests that they can sleep very well even crossing the soul many times. Mahii becomes angry and Jay speaks that its all nonsense and speaks that the old man was dancing after removing his Dhoti and moreover after taking bath starts to do Yoga while sitting on his stomach. Then, he realized the man is real and Bittu speaks that those people are eco-friendly and sooner then comes the old/young couple and she informs Bittu that the room they were living had a ghost. She then shows Bittu the message on phone that a young couple had died some 4 days ago. The scene changes there and it becomes dark while Mahii puts her hair completely down and Jay starts to walk like a ghost. They follow Bittu and others making them run for cover.
Salim-Sulaiman on CNWK
Salim and Sulaiman comes there on stage after the comedy gag from Bittu and his family. Salim starts singing the song – Shukran Allah wa Alhamdulillah.. Nazron Se Nazron se Milli Jannat Se Mahki Fizaen.. while his brother Sulaiman plays the musical instrument. Siddhu and audience applauds the brothers. Kapil comes there and welcomes the brother duo on his show. Kapil also congrats them for giving entertaining music in movies. Kapil asks them that they are from Gujarat and the people there are business minded so how come they came in music ? Salim speaks that his father was a musician and have connection in the film industry and later he started his business on selling musical instruments. Because of which they used to have musical instruments at home and even their toys were instruments as well – Bongo, drum. Sulaiman speaks that music was in genes and Kapil speaks that we get a lesson that give toys to children according to what we want them to become. He then argues if we want to send our kids to army in future then should we give them guns in their childhood bringing laughter. Siddhu compliments the brother duo for infusing love and winning hearts of millions by their music and salutes them. They thank Siddhu for his appreciation. Kapil asks Sulaiman about the instrument which he was holding in his hand. Sulaiman replies that it is Zen Drum and doesn’t create sound and needs a Wifi/Laptop to make it work otherwise holding it just for fun.
Kapil speaks that we have seen many music composers/directors duo in film industry – Kalyan-Anand ji, Laxmikant-Pyarelal, Salim-Sulaiman but there is one movie. Salim replies that the money is coming to their home since they are brothers and also suggests that Kalyan ji and Anand ji were brothers as well. Kapil asks them who keeps the more money with them and Salim laughs and informs to tell Kapil backstage after the show. Kapil then goes on to inform the audience that Sulaiman plays many musical instruments while Salim sings a lot and has also got a master degree in piano learning from Trinity College of London and also informs that Sulaiman has taken Tabla lessons from Ustad Zakir Hussain. Kapil speaks that there is less loudness and more feelings in their songs and one fine example is Maula Mere Le Le Meri Jaan from the movie Chak De India! and also cites that he is the fan of their music and then Salim appreciates Kapil’s admiration. Kapil suggests that whenever India wins the cup we remember the song in our heart – Chak De India!. Salim speaks that when Maule Meri Jaan song was written and its words Teeja Tera Rang Tha. Mein. and many people might not know that it was the words to signify our flag – Teeja Tera Rang Thaa Mai Toh….Teeja Teraa Rang Thaa Mai Toh…Jiya Tere Dhang Se Mai Toh..Tu Hi Thaa Maula Tu Hi Aan..Maula Mere Le Le Meri Jaan
Kapil and the audience applauds them. Kapil also informs the audience the ones who don’t know that in the FIFA world cup 2010, Salim-Sulaiman has composed music for its anthem (The anthem has the song “Africa – You’re A Star) and has worked with lady gaga and re-mixed a song with her. Kapil asks them whether they didn’t have problem in matching with her ? Sulaiman speaks that once you start working then you will adjust and the result that comes out will be good as well. Kapil suggests that he was speaking about matching in clothes between them and her and then says that Lady Gaga is a fine singer and her clothes are very good as well and also they have won the best music composer award as well. Mrs. Bittu Sharma comes there calling Bittu’s name and greets Salim and Sulaiman. Bittu asks her that she is greeting in a manner that she used to play Gudda-Guddi with them (playing with Dolls). She informs Bittu on knowing them since childhood and also studied with them. Sulaiman speaks of not remembering her. Bittu goes on to make a taunt that they have studied in Trinity college of London while she has attended a small college nearby. Bittu reminds them about her and says that when they used to study at their college the tea helper was her father. Mrs. Sharma speaks of being present there with them in a music class after college. Bittu speaks that her face is like Taanpura and she warns him of informing her father. Bittu makes a taunt at him and suggests that he will remove his Dhoti and what else and she responds that he has two factories and Bittu speaks those factories are toilets – Gents/Ladies sign and her father sits in front of it and puts his hand forward asking people to give him change bringing laughter. She informs them that her family has lot of good singers specially his brother. They asks him ok where does he sing ? Bittu replies that her brother sings where there is already lot of people like Mela (Fair), train compartment, etc. She replies that his brother is a rockstar and he goes on to say that her brother sings in the train with some stones (while rubbing it). Mrs. Sharma (manju) feels insulted and vows to take revenge at Bittu when her friends come to their home and leaves with anger.
Bittu speaks that whenever guests come she recommends to them about her brother and doesn’t recommend her husband who is also an able and good singer. Salim replies ofcourse that is right. Raju comes there with mango shake, chips and informs that Bittu is having water in his mouth after seeing the food. Bittu starts to eat chips from his plate and Raju informs of bringing food for Salim-Sulaiman as he took 500 INR from them. Sulaiman asks Raju whether only that much food and he replies that for the remaining food Daadi and Bua are fighting. Raju requests them to give him a job and he replies of having a talent. Bittu speaks that in bathroom and railway/bus platforms the bad things Raju only write and he replies then why he reads them making Bittu quiet and everybody smiles. Raju speaks of his writing – Kissi Ke Dosa Ne Kissi ke Sambhar Ne Theeki Chutney Ne Aur Poocha hain Ras Malayi se Kab Khaoonga Mujhe. Kab Khaoonge Mujhe…. Bittu speaks that there is hunger in his writing and Raju speaks that according to his situation the writing depict the same. Raju leaves from there. Kapil asks them they have composed music for football worldcup, Chak De India!, Iqbal (based on cricket) so what does they want ? Salim replies that he likes inspirational songs like Ye Hausla Kaise Jhuke, Aashein.. Salim then sings Ye Hausla Kaise Jhuke songs. on-demand live there and Siddhu and Kapil praises the singing.
Kapil opens the floor to the audience and an audience man speaks that R.D. Burman used to create music from sweeper, glass and other unconventional things and asks them whether they have created the music in that way as well sometime. Salim replies on doing such music creation before and then the audience man wants them to show a demo there itself. Kapil thinks that the audience man came there to take audition of Salim-Sulaiman. Salim speaks of having musical instruments all the time and wants to use Kapil’s musicians and instruments to show their piece of work. Salim and Sulaiman goes there to play the instruments, Salim plays the piano while Sulaiman plays the drum and Kapil sings the song Maula Le Le Meri Jaan song from Chak De India! The audience applauds the music duo and Kapil. Next, audience man comes there for Kutch and then Salim speaks in the local dialect of Kutch and the audience speaks that there is a special song of their place called Matukudi which is Kacchi language and wants to dance and sing with them. He comes on stage and greets them. He sings the song – Gajjiyo Mujjo Jhor Jalaano..Gajjiyo and Siddhu comes there as well and the audience man suggests the matukudi dance is like taking out a Bhajiya (snack) from oil. Salim sings the song Gajjiyo Mujjo Jhor Jalaano..Gajjiyo while Kapil, Siddhu and others dance to that tune. Kapil speaks that Gujarat has shined today and thanks the audience. He speaks that the Gujarati dance is sweet and they all dance together and speaks that his punjabi song is different since after some drinks people dance seperately.
Sooner then, a lady from audience asks them what if instead of Kapil sharma there is a young lad from Amritsar who comes to them for an audition then how will they go on to take ? Kapil becomes the young lad to enact the scene and greets them. He speaks about wanting to sing a song in the movie. Sulaiman speaks ok sing, and then informs them of coming from Kutch. He speaks of not singing and directly singing for the movie since his mother feels that if he gives an audition and sing then he will get Nazar. He speaks of living on the road almost and Salim speaks on feeling that the young lad (him) has the Mausaki (music capability) and Kapil as young lad speaks that it was not from his Mausi ji (Aunt) and the talent is his own bringing smiles. The lady is from Kandivali, Mumbai and asks her whether she wore a dress made from newspaper and praises her. Daadi comes there with a big Dhol wearing it and she informs Siddhu of trying to play the Dhol since 2 hours but couldn’t able to do it and then learns that Salim-Sulaiman are there and then greets them and wishes them happiness. She speaks that they coming at the right time and after hearing it they will be amused a lot. She informs on making a band BBD and they are the first singers for her band and also free of cost. She informs of not taking the money from them. She speaks on the abbreviation with much passion and introduces Palak who comes there and and dances with much energy on the Aave AaveLoot Gaya (Band Baaja Baarat) song. Bittu makes a taunt on her dance and passion and Palak replies with her Ooooooo sound and wants him to talk with her hand. Daadi informs them Palak is the B of BBD band and then introduces the heart of her band which is Bua and she comes there on the Jism ka Hain Jalwa song and she goes to woo Siddhu ji as well.
Bua, Palak, Daadi all dance together. Bua asks them how she danced on a fashion movie song, and Bittu replies that she looked like the remains of an old building. Bittu speaks that from age 16-25 is Halwa, 25-40 is Jalwa, and then from 40 onwards is Malwa (remains). Bua becomes angry at him and then she tries to flirt with Salim and speaks that whether she should think that now relationship with him is certain. Bittu asks Salim-Sulaiman to first find about talent of his family referring to BBD band, and Palak informs him about her talent and also suggests that yesterday she gave the background music to Bua but she has kept it somewhere and forgot. Salim smiles on that thought and Bittu calls them Duffer and Daadi asks for a situation and then they will show their background music. Sulaiman gives a scene with people sitting in the park and then comes the police. Palak creates the fights sound of police thrashing boy and informs that her boyfriend was beaten in that way.
Daadi comes close to Salim-Sulaiman and speaks that they always give and shower love through music and now she wants to give them something back for their efforts and wanting to return the favor. Daadi kisses Salim and Sulaiman and Bua is unhappy as her turn didn’t come. Sooner then, Salim-Sulaiman and Kapil sings the Ainvaye Ainvaye Lut Gaya song which was public and Siddhu’s demand. Siddhu also comes on stage and enjoys Salim’s singing and Kapil goes on to Siddhu’s table and shakes his body and grooves to the song. Kapil thanks Salim-Sulaiman for coming on the show and calls them as rockstars. Kapil signs off by saying keep loving, and watching his show on Colors.
Next Week, Guests on the show: 16th and 17th August 2014
Actresses and Superstars – Rani Mukherjee and Priyanka Chopra are the guests on Comedy Nights. Rani speaks of not able to watch Aamir Khan in his eyes since she was shy and was afraid of falling in love with him and she was then informed by Aamir to look into his eyes so as to act properly. She then looked at him and then again drools back to look down.Then when the camera rolled, she continued with him on the song – Aankhon se Tu Ne Kya Kardiya..and enacts the scene with Kapil touching his face a bit and blushes and laughs bringing laughter. Rani dances and grooves with an audience girl on the Dhadak Dhadak Dhua Udaye Re Hum Chale Hum Chale…song. Rani’s is there on Comedy Nights for the promotion of her upcoming movie Mardaani releasing on 22nd August 2014.
Priyanka Chopra comes with her director Omung Kumar of her upcoming movie – Mary Kom releasing on Septemeber 5, 2014. Gutthi and Palak are seen on the stage and trying to convince him to make a biopic and cast them as actors and Gutthi suggests the biopic to be made on C.T Usha (humorously suggesting instead of P.T Usha), and informs Bittu that this is because when people watches them in that movie then they will create sounds (Seeti in hindi) and they will not do P.T (physical training) there bringing laughter. Priyanka also accepts the challenge to compete in push-ups with men and easily done 25 push-ups and winning the challenge showing her confidence and strength.
* Read more about Salim-Sulaiman at their Wikipedia page.
Full Episode: Salim-Sulaiman on Comedy Nights, 10th August 2014
Songs sung in the Episode and Trailer of Rani and Priyanka’s movie (Mardaani and Mary Kom)