Rishton Ka Bazaar: Love in the Age of Filters and CVs. A Sarcastic Tale about Relationships These Days. Rishton ka Grand Bazaar – Where Love Meets LinkedIn.
Once upon a time, shaadi was simple.
Boy met girl. Girl liked boy. Parents prayed. Rishta done.
Lekin ab? Welcome to Rishton ka Bazaar – where finding a life partner is tougher than rocket science.
Yahan love nahi, biodata bikhte hain.
MBA chahiye, salary crore mein likhte hain.
Aur height? Bas ladka 6 foot ho, chahe dimag 6 inch ka ho.
Rishta karne chale the hum, socha tha dil dekhenge,
Par log toh pehle caste, salary aur skin tone poochhne lage.
Mommy Scouts & Daddy Diplomats
Mom 1: Beta, Sharma ji ka ladka dekha? US return hai, Tesla drive karta hai.
Mom 2: Haan, lekin complexion wheatish hai. Mujhe toh gora hi chahiye…(rishta nahi TikTok collab karna hai kya?)
Dad: Beta, tumne UPSC diya kya? Nahi? At least CAT crack kiya hota. How will we show face to the WhatsApp group?
This is that duniya where:
- Rishta = Resume
- Groom = Investment Portfolio
- Bride = Walking Instagram Filter
Mohabbat ka toh zamana gaya,
Ab toh shaadi bhi Excel sheet pe tay hoti hai.
Pehle poocha jaata tha ‘kya pasand hai?’,
Ab poocha jaata hai ‘kitna package hai?’
Shaadi.com meets SpaceX
Finding a rishta is now like launching a satellite:
- Apply filters – caste, creed, colour, career
- Background check (and foreground too)
- Kundli matching, even if couple doesn’t match
- Zoom interviews – with chai in hand and 10 nosy aunties in background
- Rejection email: “Sorry, not a cultural fit.”
Shaadi karni hai ya NASA mein job leni hai bhai?
Sab log baith gaye hain – “Good family, good looks, 6-digit salary, and zero past relationship.”
Shaadi ke rishton mein pyaar dhoondhte reh gaye,
Rishta ban gaya ek aur business deal,
Na dil mila, na samajh aaye log,
Bas mil gaye do CV aur ek meal.
The End (Or The Beginning of Yet Another Rishta Call)
True love might be blind.
Modern rishtas?
They come with a 5-page biodata, LinkedIn endorsements, and 3 aunties doing numerous background checks.
So next time someone says:
“Rishta aaya hai,”
Just ask – “Kya ye rishta hai ya Shark Tank ka pitch?”
Can you relate to this rishta bazaar saga?
Have you faced these “Excel sheet rishta interview? Comment Below. Share the post if you relate to it.
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